Opting Out of Reality

Pregnancy test

Opting Out of Reality


An article in the National Post on Saturday hit on a conversation my wife and I were having. The gist is this:

Some feminists are questioning the fairness of holding men responsible for child support if they did not want to be dads in the first place. Through abortion, women are able to "opt out" of parenthood, they argue. But a man has no similar option, and by law must support a child he helped conceive but didn't want. They contend that real equality will afford both parties the right to "opt out" of parenthood.

There is a twisted sort of logic to this, isn't there?

How did we get here? 

We have a funny approach to pregnancy, no? If it is intended, we have baby showers, everyone wants to know if it is a girl or a boy, and the lucky mom and dad get congratulations all round. If it is not intended it is a totally different story. We act like we can hit the delete button and make it all go away. This is the so-called "freedom to choose." This is the opt out.   

Imagine for a moment that we live in a society where parents have the freedom to get what we'll call "an elimination." An elimination is when parents decide within the first two years of a child's life that they no longer wish to raise the child. They bring the child to an elimination clinic where they simple drop him off and a special "doctor" takes care of him.

No more child. I guess they "opted out."  

(This is a nightmare scenario, true, but it's not like it hasn't been proposed seriously.)

In the end, no one is opting out of motherhood or fatherhood. If you conceived a child, that child is yours, whether you want to care for her or not. Having an abortion does not unmake you a parent; it makes you a parent of a child that has been killed. 

By running from the natural consequences of our actions, we are not opting out of parenthood. We're trying to opt out of reality, but in the end we're just opting in to a lie. 

Have you had an abortion, or helped someone procure one? Do not despair. Do not think yourself beyond the mercy of God, who died to take away ALL of our sins. There is help available here, and here.  

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