Letting the Floodgates Open: A Personal Testimony

“Listen! I am standing at the door, knocking; if you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to you and eat with you, and you with me.” (Revelation 3:20)

When I was seventeen, I became Catholic. I am the only Catholic in my family. I am the only Christian; the only one with a real faith. I chose Catholicism because it gave me something to live for, a community where I really felt Christ’s love. I went to Mass every week and Confession every two weeks. If you asked me if I had a personal relationship with Christ, I would have said yes, because I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing as a "Good Catholic."

After I graduated High School I went to serve with National Evangelization Teams (NET) Canada. There were 60 of us that gave up a year to spread the gospel to youth across the country. While on NET, we had training to prepare us for the year we were about to partake in, and it was a great growing experience. We had daily Mass and occasional adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. In these sacraments, I really encountered the Lord. We went out as a team, and over the course of the year I was praying every day to learn about myself. I found that I was growing in so many ways: in how I related to God, how I related to others, and I would say I grew more significantly in my faith than I ever had before. 

My first year on NET was so great that I decided to return and serve a second year. The next year, I was a veteran, and there is a position on NET called the Team Leader. I thought that because I was second year that I should be a Team Leader. By being this position I would be “good enough for God."

I was putting my identity in that position. When I found I wasn’t going to be a Team Leader, I broke down. I went into the chapel with a good friend and he showed me I was putting my identity in the wrong things. I should be putting it in Christ; that I needed to have a personal relationship with Him. I felt that I did have a personal relationship, but I didn’t let him fully into my life.

He told me to picture my heart as if it had a door on it and the handle was on the inside. I needed to open the door of my heart and invite the Lord in.

So in that Chapel in August of 2006, I opened the door of my heart and let the Lord in. Instantly, I felt His love and mercy come over me. I instantly felt the weight and pressure I had been putting on myself. The pressure to be “good enough for everyone” was taken off my shoulders. I put my identity in being a Son of God, and put Christ at the center of my life.

Ever since that decision, things have not always been perfect, but they have been way better than they were before, just knowing where my identity lies and not putting it in false things.  

In 2006, on my first year of NET, I had started a personal relationship. I had encountered Jesus, but it was not until prayed to receive Him in my heart that it happened. If you have never given yourself, I would invite you to do so (you heard me!). This is a freedom, I am free to fail and not be perfect.

I can relate my two years to a shower: it's as if was standing under the shower head and letting some of the water go through, but it was not until I mad the choice to turn the tap on and let the floodgates open that it was real.

I craved the floodgates. This is the adult conversion. I needed to choose, no matter how many encounters; I still needed the choice.